When your child feels left out: why finding friends and belonging matter so much

If you’re up at night Googling things like “my child has no friends” or “why does my child feel left out at school”, you’re not alone.

For many children aged 7–10, friendship suddenly becomes a big deal. Being included feels amazing. Being left out can feel crushing — and not just emotionally. Research shows that loneliness and physical pain use similar pathways in the brain, which explains why kids often describe exclusion as feeling like it hurts.

This is exactly why Wellbeing Hacks includes Find Your Squad and Get Along, to teach core social wellbeing skills.

Why belonging is essential for children’s mental health

Humans are wired for connection. As Frizz explains in the book, “back in cave days, belonging kept us alive. Today, the danger isn’t giant toothy animals — it’s feeling alone, rejected, or like you don’t fit anywhere.”

For kids, belonging now looks like:

• having someone to sit with

• having people to laugh with

• having a group where you feel accepted just by being you

The book makes this clear: belonging = wellbeing.When kids feel connected, they cope better with stress and feel safer in themselves.

“My Child Has No Friends” — How Find Your Squad Helps

Find Your Squad speaks directly to kids who:

• find it hard to make friends

• feel left out at school

• don’t know how to join in

• worry they don’t fit anywhere

Rather than pretending friendship is easy, the book normalises how hard this can be. Some kids make friends everywhere. Others don’t — and both are okay.

Children are encouraged to look for their people in lots of places, not just their classroom: sport, clubs, community groups, hobbies, and teams. The message is reassuring and practical: you will find your squad, and it might take time.

Kids are also taught:

• brave “joining-in” words they can actually say

• how to get involved in things they genuinely enjoy

• that rejection isn’t a sign something is wrong with them

This is powerful for children experiencing social anxiety or ongoing loneliness.

Helping a child who feels left out at school

The book is very clear that kids shouldn’t handle loneliness alone. If a child feels sad, rejected or isolated, Find Your Squad encourages them to ask an adult for help — a parent, teacher or wellbeing staff member.

This reduces shame and reinforces a key wellbeing message: needing support is normal.

There’s also a strong focus on inclusion — encouraging kids to be the ones who help someone else who is alone or left out. Belonging grows when kids learn how to create it together.

Why getting along matters just as much as finding friends

Even once kids have friends, problems still happen. Arguments, unfair behaviour, teasing, gossip — these are common in primary school.

That’s where Get Along comes in.

This part of Wellbeing Hacks teaches children that staying connected takes skills. Kids learn about boundary lines — what behaviour is okay and what isn’t — and practise words they can use when someone crosses the line.

Rather than telling kids to “just ignore it” or “be nice”, the book gives them language to:

• speak up when something isn’t okay

• protect their body and feelings

• understand what behaviour belongs inside or outside their boundary

These are essential skills for children dealing with friendship conflict or bullying.

Friendship struggles and social anxiety in kids

For children with social anxiety, friendship issues can feel overwhelming. Not knowing what to say, where to sit, or how to join in can keep their nervous system on high alert all day.

By teaching:

• how to join in

• how to find people with shared interests

• how to ask for help

• how to set boundary lines

Wellbeing Hacks helps reduce that constant stress. Kids feel more prepared, more confident, and less alone.

Why these skills are taught as wellbeing skills

Wellbeing Hacks doesn’t treat friendship problems as minor issues. Feeling excluded or unsafe socially affects mental health, emotional regulation, and confidence.

That’s why Find Your Squad and Get Along sit alongside calming the body, managing worries, and understanding the brain. Belonging and getting along aren’t extras — they’re part of staying well.

The book teaches these ideas through story, humour, quizzes and activities that feel relatable to kids, not preachy.

If your child is struggling with friends right now

If your child feels lonely, left out, or unsure how to make or keep friends, Wellbeing Hacks offers language, reassurance, and practical tools they can use straight away.

The message kids take with them is simple and powerful:

You’re not alone.You’re allowed to be yourself.You can find your people.And you deserve to feel like you belong.

👉 Check out the book now

With support

Lena