Why strengths-based approaches matter for kids’ wellbeing

By Lena Way — Author of Wellbeing Hacks 

One of the biggest “aha” moments I’ve had as both a mum and a wellbeing author is this:Most kids today can list 10 things they’re bad at… but struggle to name even one thing they’re good at.

I don’t want that for any of our kids.

Children — especially children with anxiety, sensitive kids, or kids who compare themselves to others — tend to focus on their weaknesses automatically. Their brains latch onto mistakes, worries, social slip-ups, school pressures and what they think everyone else is better at.

But when a child learns their strengths — their character qualities, their natural abilities, the ways their brain works best — something shifts. You can literally see it in their posture, their face, and their confidence.

This is the foundation of strengths-based approaches…and it’s why I’m so passionate about them.

What is a strengths-based approach? (In mum-language)

It simply means helping kids understand:

• what makes them unique

• what they’re naturally good at

• how their brain works best

• which qualities help them overcome challenges

It shifts their inner narrative from:“I’m not as good as everyone else,”to:“I have strengths that matter — and I can use them.”

A strengths-based approach isn’t about ignoring weaknesses. It’s about giving kids an identity built on capability rather than deficiency.

And research shows that identity becomes the anchor they rely on for the rest of their lives.

The science: why strengths boost mental wellbeing

Psychologists like Dr. Martin Seligman, Dr. Leah Waters and Dr. Christopher Peterson have proven something powerful:Kids who understand their strengths have higher wellbeing, lower anxiety, better emotional regulation, and stronger resilience.

Here’s why.

1. Strengths create confidence that sticks

Not the “you’re so clever” kind of confidence.The grounded, internal kind that says:

“I know who I am. I know what I’m good at. I can handle this.”

Strengths give kids a reference point they can rely on, especially when they’re feeling overwhelmed or worried.

2. Strengths help children regulate big emotions

For kids with anxiety or frequent worries, strengths act like an internal safety system.

When a child knows they’re brave, kind, determined, creative, patient or curious…they’re more likely to use those qualities to calm themselves, work through fear, or approach a stressful situation with more courage.

Strengths restore a sense of control.

3. Strengths build resilience — the real kind

Resilience isn’t about “toughing up.”It’s about knowing you have the inner resources to get through hard things.

Strengths-based approaches help kids:

• recover faster from setbacks

• try again after failure

• problem-solve with confidence

• see challenges as things they can handle

Children who understand their strengths are more likely to persist, experiment, adapt, and stay hopeful.

4. Strengths improve relationships and social confidence

When kids know their social or emotional strengths — kindness, fairness, humour, empathy — they feel more secure in friendships.

They stop trying to fit in, and start showing up as themselves.

This reduces social anxiety, improves emotional wellbeing, and increases their sense of belonging.

5. Strengths change how kids see themselves academically

A strengths-based lens helps kids realise that being smart comes in many forms.

Some kids process the world visually.Some socially.Some through logic.Some through movement.Some through creativity.Some through nature or hands-on experiences.

Understanding their unique learning strengths reduces school-related worry and increases confidence in the classroom.

Why ages 7–10 are the perfect time for strengths learning

This is the age when children begin to compare themselves to others…and sometimes to tear themselves down.

It’s also the age when:

• self-esteem forms

• identity takes shape

• academic pressure increases

• friendships become more complex

• performance anxiety shows up

• worries become louder

A strengths-based approach gives kids a stable internal compass during a very wobbly developmental stage.

It helps them say:“Here’s who I am. Here’s what I’m good at. Here’s what I bring to the world.”

That’s powerful.

How strengths-based approaches show up Wellbeing Hacks

When I write for kids, I weave strengths subtly into everything:

• the way characters talk about themselves

• the options children are encouraged to explore

• the activities that help them reflect

• the tools that gently build confidence

• the stories that show kids how capable they already are

I’ve seen firsthand how transformational it is when a child realises:

“Wait… I do have strengths. I’m not starting from zero. I already have what I need.”

And when a child feels secure in their strengths…their wellbeing skyrockets.

👉 Check out the book now

With support

Lena