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How to help a child who worries before bed
- lenacondos
- Dec 17, 2025
- 2 min read
Based on the Wellbeing Hacks approach
For many children (including mine), bedtime is the moment the world goes quiet but their thoughts get loud.
During the day, children are busy. There’s school, friends, play, screens, noise, and movement. Their brain doesn’t have much time to notice worries because they’re distracted.
But at night, when the lights go off and the room gets still, the brain says:
“Oh. Now I have time to think.”
This is when we see:
“What if something bad happens?”
“What if I mess up?”
“What if I get sick?”
“What if you get sick?”
“What if I forget?”
The child’s heart starts to beat fast, their chest might feel tight and their tummies feel fluttery.
This is the brain's prehistoric safety alarm — the amygdala — switching on. It’s the same part of the brain that once helped humans escape tigers and wolves.
The problem is… bedtime isn’t a tiger. But the brain can’t tell the difference.
That’s why logic alone doesn’t calm a worrying child at night.
We must calm the body first, so the thinking brain can switch back on.
This is the foundation of the first Wellbeing Hack, #1 - Calm Your Mind.
There are 14 strategies you and your child can use together to relax the mind and body, so the brain understands, “Oh, I’m safe.” This is when the thinking part of the brain finally comes back online and the moment children feel “I can handle this.”
Wellbeing Hack # 2 - Be The Boss Of Your Thoughts, helps the brain check the thought.
Once the body is calmer, children can look at the thought with curiosity, not fear.
Through a variety of Frizz-guided activities and strategies, the book teaches kids to investigate their thoughts like a detective, searching for the facts and truth.
This gives them power back.
There’s no jargon, no lectures, no “just calm down.”
Children learn:
what the ancient brain is
why it reacts the way it does
how to notice the signs in their body
what to do when the worry shows up
They learn how to calm themselves, not just how to be calmed.
And that is resilience.
If bedtime worry is common in your home, as it was in mine, these two hacks work hand-in-hand to turn bedtime from stressful into safe.
You can try the Wellbeing Hacks Calm & Confident Starter Kit for FREE
With support
Lena
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